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Enlightenment - Chapter XV



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Chapter XV
Commentary

February 17, 2008

  • My first concern when I was initially writing last chapter was to wonder if it might have been better if I had just combined that one with this one. I was pleased to see that this chapter is much closer to the average chapter in length.

  • There were a couple reasons to have the beginning of the chapter written as Melfina's reaction and second thoughts about the argument, rather than continue the argument itself. Like I said in the last commentary, I'm going to have more arguements between them in the future, I should avoid as many as I can. This way also lets us avoid more angry thoughts which I seems to have a lot of as well. It allowed me to write a more reflective and understanding Melfina, which I liked. Since this is a seperate chapter, I also wanted to show a time gap between this and the last one. I know I don't always do that (Like with Chapters 207 & 208), but it was something I wanted to try this time.

  • This chapter was originally outlined to take place before Chapter 214. The main event that I wanted in 214 was for Stark to find out that Melfina was using necromancy. The main event from this chapter was introduction of Darksage. Why did I switch them? Melfina first summoned him in Chapter 212. I just felt like I wanted to space out the two chapters with more than just one chapter inbetween. The obvious change would have been that Melfina would be somewhat more cautious about necromancy when Stark finds out. It would have been harder to write about an argument between the two when Melfina would be less certain that Stark was wrong. That might not necessarily have been bad, but I think it worked out nicely.

  • Now as for Darksage, last commentary I mentioned how I like to leave seeds in my chapters just in case. My previous mentions of darksage were not the case. It was the exact opposite. Because of my outlining, I was able to leave little tidbits to lead up to his introduction. I came up with the name a long time ago, and the character even longer. Chapter 107 first mentions the darksage as an ingredient she uses. Chapter 209 has Stark drinking darksage tea. 211 has everyone drinking it. The familiar by the same name is summoned in 212, and finally he is introduced in 215.

    What does tea have to do with a dark wolf? Well, it was used as a way for the readers to become familiar with the word. But to make it make sense story wise, of course the wolf is going to share some of the same characteristics as the tea. Describing the tea, was a way to being describing the character before the character even showed up.

  • And for my final little comment. I'm glad the Tome finally got used. It originally had the tiniest of parts in this chapter, but with each revision, that section got just a little bit longer and longer until it got to the point where it is not. It's still not huge, but Melfina finally read through some of it and used it as a spellbook.

  • 01/20/2009 - Rewrite to version 1.60. A lot of minor changes all throughout the chapter. This chapter needed a lot of cleaning up. A net change of -104 words to 1,300.


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